Ain't NOTHING easy about Sunday morning...

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Be Easy...

I'm feeling very silent.
Everything floats these days.
There's an enemy lurking, and I'm not certain how to flush it out.
A brother is a better enemy than an opposite...
I'm finding great comfort in my local relationships these days...
I've had the argument before that "online friends" are different than "local friends"
And they are (to me)'s a different quality.
And the list goes on...I have "online friends" that I've known for YEARS longer than my local friends,
But my local friends have seen me sneeze and sweat and pick my nose, and they know what I look like when I'm confused..
or what "LOL" really looks like in living color.
Yet there's a level of exposure that I allow my online friends versus my local friends. I spend longer hours at my leisure online than I do in friends can "be there" at 3 am...
But then again, I also have online relationships with people who I'd propbably not relate to in the flesh.
Conversations don't match.
What an existential question particular to our generation!
Another layer of the "Who I Am" cake.
I guess online friends can potentially follow you wherever you go.
Oh! And let's not forget the locals who are online! My godsister who lovingly called me to make sure that I voted is online ALL day, every day, and we hardly speak.

Yeah...once again, this post went nowheres quick.
I just had a great convo last night with an old friend from Philly who is also living here in MD in the oh-so-exciting world of college afterlife, and it made me think about all the relationships in my life.

Also, God is GREAT, Cakes...
I now can see reason after reason why I was snatched out of Philly, and it really hurts...but it's a thankful secure kind of pain...Where I see that leaning on my own understanding would have led me to the crap-pile. And it hurts because of my former passions and convictions...
Take a minute to suppose: that your deepest mose trusted conviction (apart from God's own existence) is wrong. The only reason I exempt God from this is because, well, he's GOD, and because in this scenario, it is GOD who proves us (or rather, lovingly shows us) wrong. What if the ONLY thing you currently cling to is wrong? Not just that, but what if God surgically removes you from that situation, and you see weeks from now that you were wrong?
How can you not proceed to doubt your other convictions? How does this NOT lead to a total abandonment of the things we hold dear??
It's the inevitable path towards God...
Like Oedipus...he ran away from his prophecy right into his destiny.
ALL things testify to God's truth...sacred and pagan alike.

It's a mad mad mad mad mad mad world.


Blogger huh? display what? said...

Online friends and I don't have the same depth of conversation away from the computer. And people I don't chat with online or who've never read my journals get none of me beyond small talk. Online friends usually equals distance and I find comfort in distance.

Wrong wrong wrong...God makes me feel like an idiot too often these days, not in a self pity way but he proves things like you said. Thanks for writing that last portion. It wasn't written for me but it helped.

What did you do once you started to see what God was showing? Give God thanks for showing it and move on quick? (Was total abandonment your 1st response?) Did the loss of the trusted conviction make you want to find a replacement quick or are you just letting God lead you as slow or as quick as He wants?

8:47 PM


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