What if I get to Heaven with a suicide tag on my toe?!
My microwave can't be safe in such a small space...
it just COOKED five FROZEN buffalo wings in...
1 minute and 39 seconds....the bag says 6-8 minutes frozen, 2.5-3.5 thawed.....
these suckers are COOKED.

In other news, I have to be CAREFUL with my clandestine feats of interpersonal ministry....
nobody knows what I'm talking about, but you might if you understand that I got off the subway and ran into
the RAPPER "R-Swift" http://www.f4ts.com We had a nice little chat about music and mixtapes....that was a CLOSE one....
I know, this is pointless because I haven't told anyone what I'm doing...but it may come to light in a few months, then you can all sit back and go:
"Ooooooooooh.....!"

bust this:
3 pork and veggie dumplings,
3 spinach and veggie dumplings
mighty mighty ramen noodles
manwich sauce and ragu meat in a jar...

let the knocking not precede the trying.

SCREAM!