Ain't NOTHING easy about Sunday morning...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Danger Will Robinson...

Whoa, Nelly!
I've gone wheat CRAZY! I bought whole-wheat bread, tortillas, two types of pasta, shredded wheat cereal, and a host of unrefined sugars and honeys and other sweet things...this thing might backfire on me!

(speaking of Nelly, I fell victim to "Tip Drill" last night. Jesus, help me!)

TV really is ugly...not in the amazing way that Jesus was ugly...TV is just plain UGLY.
It's so ugly...ugly...where's the good stuff? Even TBN is ugly...(hold your horses, I used to literally watch TBN 24/7 for about 3 years)...but it's still ugly.

In an odd way, I'm strengthened whenever I stumble as a result of something I've seen on television, because it reinforces my purpose so much more.

Me: Wow, God...I suck...TV sucks...how come there's not enough light shining on the TV?
God: Umm....
Me: Umm, what?? Don't you 'Umm' me!
God: Negro...
Me: Sorry, Lord. I'm listening.
God: As I was saying...
Me: God?
God: Yes?
Me: I'm too tired to work out, could you just zap me a six-pack?
God: Before I was so rudely interupted...
Me: Sorry God. I suck. I only want a six-pack because I saw one on TV.
God: If you'll let me finish...
Me: Right! My bad, go ahead.
God: Food for the stomach and the stomach for food.
Me: WHAT is THAT supposed to mean?
God: You'll understand later.
Me: Wow, you're hardcore...
God: Listen, why do you think you're so drawn to images? Why do you think you like to watch the good stuff, the bad stuff, and the ugly stuff?
Me: Because I'm a filmmaker?
God: Nice try.
Me: Because I hate myself?
God: You don't hate yourself, and you know that. What did I tell you about saying that??
Me: Yeah, sorry, Lord...I'm trying too hard.
God: Sometimes...and sometimes not hard enough.
Me: Yeah. I know...I love you, God...
God: Yeah. I know. I loved you first, Adam.
Me: Food for the Stomach! Yooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
God: See?
Me: But help me out...do you mean to say that...
God: Yes.
Me: And that you're doing this so that...
God: It's in the Bible isn't it?
Me: You're hardcore, you know that?
God: Stronger than the leading brand...LOL
*let me just say here, that I love it when God laughs out loud*
Me: How did I ever wind up with you? I'm so safe right now.
God: Remember that.
Me: Remember what?
God: Remember this moment for the moments to come.
Me: But I'm always so weak when she shows up.
*My brother Donny has a saying: "The Devil has a tail under her skirt"*
God: Dude, who are you kidding?? You're always weak BEFORE she shows up too!
Me: Why can't I remember this moment?
God: You can.
Me: But I don't. Even now, it's fading.
God: From faith...
Me: ...to Faith
God: Exactly.
Me: I think I understand what you mean.
God: Then remember these moments. You have a lifetime full of them.
Me: I know. Help me to. Isn't there some sort of chant I can do?
God: Adam...
Me: Well give me something!
God: Adam...
Me: Well what do you expect? For me to just sit here and do nothing?
God: If you want to call it 'nothing'....
Me: Why don't you ever finish your sentences???
God: I always finish what I start. Don't blame me beacuse your stamina is short.
Me: You're so freakin hardcore, God....
Me: GOD!
God: So...
Me: I know...I have to pray more.
God: What do you think this is? (To Jesus) Can you believe this guy???
Me: I'm so young still. I can't wait until...
Jesus: Neither can I...
Me: Jesus! When did YOU get here?
Jesus: Me? I should be asking you that question.
Me: Geeeeeze...like Father, like Son...
Jesus: Always, in ALL ways....
Me: That was hot. I'm going to use that.
Jesus: Feel free.
Me: Thanks.
Jesus: Listen, Adam.
Me: Yes?
Jesus: Understand what I'm saying. You don't have to live life so low anymore. In fact, you've had the tools for quite some time.
Me: But it's not fair...
Jesus: Cry me a river, okay? I've empowered you. You mean to tell me that you WANT to fight your own battles? You ENJOY the feeling of dirt in your nostrils when sin has his foot on your neck? You like that?
Me: No...
Jesus: And don't get me STARTED about the cage! What are you still doing in that cage, in those RIDICULOUS clothes? Do I have to dress you too?
Me:---
Jesus: No, don't say anything. Because I did dress you. And I bathed you too. And I brought you a change of clothes, and I offered to help you put them on. And after the pants went on, you were feeling pretty confident, weren't you? You grabbed the shirt and kept putting your head through the arms, and then it took you forever to get your arms through properly, and if it wasn't on backwards, it was inside out, or buttoned on the lopside. I don't even feel like talking about the tie! You were so smart, weren't you.
God: Look. He's crying.
Jesus: Dad, it's okay. He knows I'm not being mean to him. He understands exactly what I'm saying.
Me: I'm sorry.
Jesus: Well nobody is asking you to be sorry! Sinful murderers are sorry, and then they murder again. 'Sorry' doesn't quench the flames, doc.
Me: Help me to---
Jesus: Just let me do it! You didn't preach to Israel, you didn't die on a cross, you didn't descend into the pit, and you didn't rise again...I DID IT! I AM THE CONQUEROR.
Me: But I want to help.
Jesus: Help what? It's done. I've done it already. It's not for you to do! You are MORE than a conqueror, get it? I gave up my living (family, career, "success") for you, and then I gave my LIFE for you. It's paid. You insult me whenever you think that you can ADD to what I've done. If you want to HELP, then you can start by letting go of those old clothes. Do you really want to wear them as stained as they are with your sweat and your useless blood and snot and your urine and semen and vomit and feces?
Me: No.
Jesus: Are you sure? Because that's what you're doing! And this port-a-potty you lived in...do you want IT instead of the mansion, I've prepared for you?
Me: No.
Jesus: Adam, let me be me, and let my sacrifice be enough. Because it is. It wasn't just 'paid by the skin of it's teeth'...I OVERpaid it. It is more than enough. And guess who gets to keep The Change?
God: Look. He's crying again.
Jesus: Holy Spirit, listen...thanks for bringing Adam by.
Holy Spirit: Anytime.
Jesus: God: Holy Spirit: All the time.
Jesus: God: Holy Spirit: I love you.
Me: *unintelligible mumbling*
Jesus: God: Holy Spirit: I know.
Me: But I really mean it.
Jesus: God: Holy Spirit: I know.
Me: Well, thank you so much for picking me up and cleaning me off, and hearing my prayer I love praying like this. I'll definitely be back.
Jesus: God: Holy Spirit: Can you believe this guy? Who said you had to go anywhere???
Me: Man, y'all are hardcore!
Jesus: God: Holy Spirit: LOL.


2 Comments:

Blogger Me said...

deep. i like the convo with God. definitely raw.

12:33 AM

 
Blogger Fran said...

Wow....I loved that....just wow. *sigh* *big hugs*

1:00 AM

 

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