My Tithe

Sometimes it feels like I'm tithing to the world...
as if MY struggle is to make sure that the WORLD gets its 10%.
Anytime I have money, it's blown on video gear of some sort, or books.
I'm always buying books these days...and music. And blank DVDs.

In other words, everything I do, all that I'm devoted to is of God.
(What, ultimately, ISN'T of God?)
Anyhow...
God automatically gets the 90%...
Such rules have become so confusing.
Giving to God in EVERY WAY has just become my nature.
And it doesn't feel as though I've been trained to do so.

It's just interesting to think about, that's all.
For the people to struggle so hard to find time or inspiration to give 10% to God...
where's the rest of that resource going??

I sound might self-righteous...I'm not implying that I never waste anything...
and as far as time, I've spent my fair share of mediocre masturbating midnights...
But sometimes God is just a no-brainer, and the WORLD is the conundrum.

****

I just heard my grandfather's voice for the first time in my LIFE today.
My grandmother has doznes of tapes of their racism seminars.
The man had a neo-british american accent! Such a dignified voice. Hearing him speak made me feel better about the way I speak. Just listening to 45 mins of one seminar affirmed so much of who I am. Parts of me were viciously exposed as fraudulent, and other parts seemed to sigh huge sighs of relief, having finally found themselves to be authentic.

I'm taking some tapes home. You wouldn't believe me if I put them online.
I'm leaving in the morning. This has been the best 4 days of my life. Very refreshing. A real vacation.

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